15 January 2007

Never Too Young To Die, 1986

CREW: Gil Bettman (Director)

Had previously directed episodes of Knight Rider!

STARRING: John Stamos (Lance Stargrove)

Stamos went on to star in the popular series Full House.

Vanity (Danja Deering)

After scoring a few R&B and Pop hits as part of Vanity 6 and as a solo artist, Vanity went on to forge a movie career. 52 Pick-Up with Ann Margret and Roy Schieder followed. She has since become an Evangelical minister.

Gene Simmons (Velvet Von Ragnar)

The Kiss singer went on to star in Wanted: Dead Or Alive after Never Too Young Too Die. Most recentley he has had his own reality series on VH1 with his wife and b-movie icon Shannon Tweed.

George Lazenby (Drew Stargrove)

The former James Bond star went on to star in some 90's Emmanuelle films, I don't know if that's a step up, or down from the likes of Never Too Young To Die...

PLOT: Lance Stargrove (Stamos) goes to boarding school while his father (Lazenby) works as a secret agent. His father is killed and he visits his fathers partner Danja (Vanity) to find out what happened. All leads point to twisted hermaphrodite ("Yes, half man, half woman!" as Danja's associate eagerly points out in the movie) Velvet Von Ragnar (Simmons) and his/her gang of criminals being behind it.

No sex, nudity, violence, bad language.

THOUGHTS: Twisted trashy fun is the best was to describe this piece of movie magic! Simmons steals every scene he's in as the villainous Velvet and his show at the club is hysterical! He looks like Cher on crack with the wardrobe to match. There's explosions, a few sexy scenes, and plenty of action to keep you entertained. Vanity even manages to avoid slurring her lines in this one too.


CAN I BUY IT? It was barely released on video in the UK so its hard to find, the US VHS is more readily available used. I think a full screen version is available on DVD in Germany (Region 2).

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